For those of us who desire a more simple affair, it is all too easy to get off track, from feeling pressure from family to do things a certain way, to worrying about ‘’impressing’’ other people. As someone who has always wanted a simple wedding, and is planning just that, here are some tips for standing firm. You may need to get a bit harsh… but hey, it’s your day!
There are No Wedding ‘’Laws’’
Weddings are a huge deal in all cultures, and each has its own traditions and common way of doing things. But, it is important to remember that these are just ‘’norms’’ not laws. Don’t feel pressure to do things you don’t want to do because you feel you ‘’should.’’ It is your wedding, and you have every right to plan it as you wish.
Sticking to Your Guns on the Guest List
This can be a tough one. Some people have the idea that anyone who is family gets invited, regardless of whether you actually have any sort of relationship with this person; and depending on the size of your family, heeding this common custom can quickly squash any ideas of a simple, inexpensive wedding. Often, the parents put in their two cents, and you may have a mom insisting you invite the members of her book club, or her co-workers, all of whom you could barely pick out of a line up.
If you are feeling a lot of pressure to invite people who you think you ‘’should’’ invite, rather than who you really want to invite, you have two choices. Stick to your guns, keep it limited to close friends and family, and risk some potential hurt feelings and uncomfortable conversations, or cave to the pressure and end up having the exact wedding you didn’t want. If you do the latter, that is fine, but then don’t complain.
Weddings are expensive, and you can easily spread the word through the grapevine that you are on a tight budget, and had to keep the list small. If anyone gets offended, that is not your problem.
Focus on What is Important and Forget the Rest
Some elements of a wedding are more important to people than others. In my own planning, I have decided the things that are really important to me are the wedding photographer since I want some nice pictures of this special day, and having a more casual affair in a natural setting. The food is going to be good, but simple; I don’t need a Viennese table offering 100 different desserts.
While you are naturally keeping your guests in mind when planning, and want them to have a good time, remember that this event is about you and not them. Forgetting this important point can easily get you off track with your desire for a simple affair, as you will feel pressure to keep stepping things up so other people are impressed.